let's go shoot some guns...

I just got back from doing the "Canadian Firearms Safety Course" and can (once my licence arrives) legally store, transport, and handle non-restricted firearms (shotguns and rifles; handguns are restricted and howitzers are sadly "prohibited"). And discharge them, but only in designated areas, obviously.

The guys running the course, although friendly and effective instructors, were frighteningly hardcore. Like ex-Navy SEALs, SWAT members, and generally the kind of people who teach police and military personnel themselves how to use firearms*. But they weren't as scary as some of the other students. Who seemed altogether way too eager to get their hands on fully automatic assault rifles. Or the guy who failed the written part... It seems that some people just shouldn't ever handle a firearm. Yort** comes to mind. Anyway the test was designed by someone in Ottawa, so that any human being with more than 18 brain cells, a vague grasp of the English language, and a understanding of the idea that "guns are dangerous and the government wants you to handle them safely" can pass. Sort of like the "pleasure craft operator's licence" that I got three years ago. In a rather thoughtless manner, the lead instructor marked all the tests at the table directly in front of me and Erik, facing us, making it almost impossible not to notice the score of every person in the class. Almost all were high 90s (need 80 to pass).

However one test was singularly terrible. A mark around 50 was given. This test was intensely basic common-sense stuff. Like "firearms should be removed from potentially violent situations: true or false". You could pass this thing without the 6 bloody hours of course-time. To get it wrong implies that you have no sense of right and wrong, and may be a crazed automaton. The even more frightening thing is that he just had to take it again, orally, and was (from what I could tell) basically walked through it by the instructors (clearly it's in their interests to have a very low fail-rate). During the lunch break, the same guy warned me to watch out for badgers in the mountains. He insisted they were seriously dangerous, and dismissed the dangers of wolves, black bear, mountain lions, wolverines, and grizzlies. He was deadly serious about it, citing tales of badgers fighting bears and winning.

Anyway. I am not a fan of guns at all. I feel that that kind of power is in general more than any person should have. Especially those who are perhaps slightly - unstable. However, in the interest of protection from the hordes of marauding badgers, I'll take the shotgun.

I'm not some misty-eyed dreamer who just wants peace for all and for guns to go away. I take a more logical approach to my somewhat anti-gun stance... mostly I'm in favour of removing handguns from our society (since it's rather difficult to conceal a shotgun or rifle on your person), but it has to start with the illegal trafficking. To outlaw handguns would ensure that the people who get them are those who should least have them. It would be good if the police could use something just as quick-acting but non-lethal, but no such device exists (and the deterrent of death is important, makes the police fearsome). Hunting weapons are okay with me... while I don't condone hunting unless you're actually planning to eat the animal, I do feel a sense of self-preservation and won't mind having a shotgun this summer.

Anyway, since there's no way the police could ever shut down all the gun trafficking, things should stay as they are for now. And I don't want to say "more money for police" to shut down the trafficking. I've never had a bad experience with police, but it does seem to me that so often the wrong sort of person becomes a cop.

A perhaps controversial post. Speak your minds.

PS In a somewhat disconcerting turn of events there was NO firing of guns involved in getting this licence. That's like awarding someone their class 5 driver's licence after doing just the written test. Although that analogy doesn't entirely work because cars kill more than twice as many people per year in this country as guns (2752 car deaths vs 1125 gun deaths). Of gun deaths in our country, 81% are suicides, and the rest are homicides (12%) and accidental (7%). Actually there are more than twice as many cars in Canada than guns, so maybe the analogy does work (25 million cars, 11 million guns).

*I can honestly say that not one of the instructors used the word "gun" at any point, that I heard. It was always "firearm", which they pronounced "fyram" or "frarm".
**Name withheld to protect identity.

Two funny pics today since there wasn't one yesterday.
Done and done. Sounds kinda like an ad for an action movie doesn't it?
"Fasten your safety belt... remove your dentures... prepare yourself for the wildest ride of this June..."
I'm a huge fan of anything that's been deep-fried in diesel. Also known as "fuel-oil flambé".

As I mentioned yesterday, I like my new boots. Tell me if you think they have any beauty (be it functional or aesthetic).

No more today because I feel very tired, which makes no sense because I slept for 10 hours last night.

footwear collection, thoughts on beauty, and tactical training.

I swear all my footwear is entirely functional; I only have 8 pairs here. Sandals, flip-flops, court shoes, winter-type sneakers, good shoes, winter boots, backup hiking boots, and new hiking boots. The 9 pairs (sandals, winter boots, court shoes, sneakers, winter-type sneakers, work boots, beat-up sneakers (for lawnmowing), and two pairs of flip-flops) back home in Fredericton surely don't count.

I don't spend time thinking of shoes, nor do I gasp in amazement when I see a pair of shoes. I buy what I feel I need. But all this has raised some philosophical thoughts in my mind. I know many people buy shoes simply because they find them aesthetically pleasing (absolutely nothing wrong with that); I don't feel like that about any shoes I've bought, but I do see beauty in their functionality. Especially with my new utterly awesome hiking boots. I appreciate most of my shoes' ability to do what they're designed for effectively. Functional beauty and aesthetic beauty are not exclusive from one other. For example finely tuned exotic sports cars are often both gut-wrenchingly gorgeous and more literally gut-wrenchingly good at their abc's*.

I have no idea what I've been rambling about or what the point is.

I biked 14 km this evening to pick up my firearms safety manual; Erik found a place offering the non-restricted firearms safety course over one day. Prior to this it seemed we'd be unarmed since I couldn't find a course offered in time. But while I was away, he found this one-day course at the "International Tactical Training Academy". So I am to receive "tactical training", which will (I assume) enable me to replace people like Worf and Tuvok as a Tactical Officer. The course is all day. I guess we go over the safety and then practice firing some weapons. Maybe there'll be paintball. Anyway the upshot is that we be packin' heat this summer.

This has been another weird and disjointed post from grum. We now return to your regularly scheduled doldrums. Oh but comment first. I like comments.



* accelerating, braking, and cornering

two things

I believe what is meant by this is that the machine will match your white fridge and dishwasher. However I prefer to think of a large device for crushing people like Kevin Federline.

On a second and absolutely hilarious note check out this ad by NZ vodka maker "42 Below". They have a cool website too.

I know my public... you're jaded and impatient and you want a very short post that makes you laugh. Like today's. Nevertheless I like writing loquacious rambling incoherent rubbish that may contain some subtle witticisms and hopefully a lot of big words. Today there's no time; I have to go meet my ex-roommate at a c-train station 40 minutes away because he stole my shoes when he left.

Cheers, all.

Friday night at the Snooty Fox

As promised here are some wicked photos from my last night with some F'ton friends 4 days ago. This was a great test of the new camera, which performed brilliantly (note detail on fiver below). Some shots are blurred due to me not taking them. In fairness, Joe was able to produce some non-blurry ones too.

First: Me as the devil, or some sort of cyborg. I know this red-eye joke is long dead, but never in my entire life have I ever seen it like this (it's dark in the bar so pupils are large). My haircut is currently stupid because I'm going to grow it out over this summer. The transition phase is the worst part. Also I'm not going to shave, and right now my facial hair is also stupid. It will improve.

Next: Witness the Hotness. In particular of Shannon and Sarah. Also notice Joe's cold steel-blue eyes, and how they are almost exactly the same colour as his shirt. Joe, do you choose your clothing to match your eyes? Do you have a "hitman" alter-ego? L-R: Steve ("Shaggz" now with short hair but name has stuck), Shannon, Sarah (as of this evening my "fiancé"), Joe ("Hophus", or just "Hoph"), and Dan.

Next: The happy couple. Note: I'm only in it for the free trips (she's a qualified pilot).

Next: Shaggz and Shannon. I have no idea why his expression is like that. Perhaps he's laughing but very sleepy. Maybe he's on drugs, or perhaps the one or two beer he's had have had a rather unexpectedly sudden effect.
Next: Sarah, Hoph, and Dan. Dan may or may not be hooting. I have no idea whether Joe ever finished that sandwich.

Next: I have the camera soft-case on my right ear. It is possible Shannon is attempting to remove it with her teeth, or just extremely shocked by its presence. My expression may call into question the depth of my commitment to Sarah. A collection of trilobites is visible.

Next: It is possible that Sarah's level of commitment is also questionable. Note Hoph is doing a Groucho Marx thing. You should all rent "Duck Soup" if you've never seen it.

Last: The five dollar bill mentioned up top there. This was taken on the table there, with the "macro" mode on. This is why I got the camera. Think of the rock shots - I won't need a bloody microscope!
Note: Shannon, Sarah, and Dan: you need good nicknames. Other than "perv", despite that that moniker certainly applies; it would be confusing because it can apply to anybody.

Anyway it was great to hang out with all of you guys... Cheers for now!

amusing 24 hours

I locked myself out of my room again. It was terrific; I stepped out of my bedroom for a shower, and pulled the door shut behind me. I hadn't realised the lock was on. I got out of the shower and found that everything - phone, keys, clothes - was locked in my room. My roommate has moved out, too. Thankfully I was able to borrow one of the girls' phones and call the landlord... who wasn't home. So I got to spend three hours watching the hockey game in a towel. Actually that's pretty much what my evening was going to be anyway.

Well no, that's a lie. During the 3.5 hour process of getting from the airport to my apartment last night, I apparently befriended some dude who I helped to get from the airport to centre street since he had no idea how to do it with the Calgary Transit. He called this afternoon inviting me over to watch tv and eat pizza, etc. I was thinking of having an "accident" in the shower and breaking an arm or something to get out of it, but watching the game in a towel has been far less painful.

The city was really weird last night. Here's a rundown of 9 pm to 12:30 am in Calgary, grum's perspective:

9:00 - stepped into baggage claim area at Calgary Intl., called home to inform Mum.
9:15 - got my one checked suitcase (heavy) and together with my bookbag (rather heavy) and carry-on case (very heavy), headed for the bus stop.
9:20 - Arrived at bus stop, found confused looking guy scrutinizing illegible bus chart.
9:45 - Bus arrived, driver told everyone the LRT system is in disarray.
10:20 - Bus reached Whitehorn c-train station.
10:40 - Train arrived and waited ~5 min before getting going.
10:50 - Train stopped after just two stations and we had to switch over to a train on the other side of the track.
11:10 - Got to stampede station and train stopped. Me and my new best friend ever started walking west towards centre street, and parted ways there.
11:20 - I continued with my unwheeled heavy, rather heavy, and very heavy articles for 6.5 long, sweaty, shoulder-killing blocks, unaware of the free buses linking the two ends of downtown in the stead of the trains. During this trek I observed three different SUV-style limos (hummer, excursion, and escalade based), and several huge swarms of crotch-rocket motorcycle gangs (or possibly the same one several times).
11:45 - I then saw the title on a bus: "free 7th ave shuttle" and hopped on.
11:46 - A highly ironic 100 m later the bus dropped me at the 7th street c-train station. I got on a waiting train bound for the northwest.
12:00 - Train left the station.
12:20 - Train got to Brentwood station (uninteruppted service for northwest I guess).
12:30 - I got home, with no strength left in my arms (barely able to form fists) and serious blisters.

I'm fine today except for horribly pulled muscles between the shoulders and neck. Plus my arm muscles are comically huge.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm so opposed to hanging out with this dude from yesterday... but I am fairly sure why. I have lots of male friends here, but almost no female friends, and frankly I'm getting annoyed with this situation. Even if things never go anywhere, flirting and joking around is fun. Anyway I don't feel I need any more male friends. Moreover, this guy is nothing like me. He works at telus selling phones, and has no plans to change that, ever. The guy has no aspirations, except buying a Civic in Manitoba for $1400 and selling it to "rich idiots" here for $4000. Wow it's not often I'm such a fuckin snob.

I figure if I can avoid the guy for the next ten days our friendship will wane over the summer. Unless "being apart makes the heart grow fonder" applies to male friendships, in which case I'll have to resort to the blessed relief afforded by the field shotgun.

This was just on the tv 2 seconds ago: Ed the Sock is addressing a guy who's just been given the underwear of three pornstars.
Ed: "So I see you've been given three thongs there."
Guy: "Can I sell them on e-bay?"
Ed: "No, I want to use them to make soup."

Another post tomorrow... selected photos from last Friday at Snooty's, with my fiancé. Cheers all.

In F'ton

I have to move the laptop directly beside the wireless router to get any signal, so I haven't blogged since I left Calgary. It's awesome in F'ton right now. The weather is terrific, Shaggz happened to take this week to come home too, and it's been great to see old friends. Drinks have yet to be arranged with most; people were unready for my surprise visit. Mom was totally shocked! Thanks to Dad for picking me up from the airport in Monkeytown and pretending to be in meetings all day!

Unfortunately I have done none of the planning I was hoping to do from here; I really must call BC Hydro tomorrow and ask them if they'll let us live in one of their places in Mica Creek, or at least use a shed or sthg for storage. At least I will have ten days when I get back to Calgary. That's a decent amount of time.

Must arrange for more drinks with more friends.

Cheers mates!

wow.

Actually "overwhelming" is probably an excellent term to use in this situation.

I am no expert on women and what to get them for valentines day... but I'm quite sure "arranging their funeral", whatever you take that to mean, isn't a good idea.

Sure these things need to be arranged... but not for valentines, surely. Ladies what do you think?

On another amusing note, I just saw Mission Impossible III. It was worth the $8.25 for 2 hrs of mindless violence. Cool special effects, typical complicated plot, lots of guns, planes, stuff blowing up, explosive charges in peoples' brains, action-movie-style romance, and of course masks. Acting not included. Seriously, that department was disbanded and most of the people went to special effects and plot complicatedness.

So all in all a highly forgettable movie, but yet enjoyable while you're watching it. At least, to me.

The best point, if I am to pick one, was the music. Some of the suspense chords were ingenious and I'd like to hear them again to pick them apart and understand them. It's tough to get the first time through.

Okay cheerio for now. And to those I e-mailed... this site is monitored by more people than you think. Please... think of your poor appendages when you make whatever comments you make.

the summer now begins

My breakfast consisted of five strips of bacon, two easy-over eggs, a banana, a glass of milk and some toast with marmite. No pancakes though. I guess I'm not getting the nutrition I need.

I am now done for the term. I presented my 701 presentation this afternoon, was grilled a bit by my profs, and am now home, about to go get some Wendy's for dinner. I can now truly move into "summer" mode; there is much prep work to do over the next few weeks. Unfortunately my intent to leave in the middle of this month will not come to fruition. Ed's away from Monday until the 17th, and Phil's away from the 12th to the 24th. So we've booked the truck for June 1st, and will depart then instead. The intervening time will not be a vacation for grum, though. Oh no. I'll complain about it later; for now I'm just too happy to be done and free for the weekend!

Regarding the presentation... it went well, I thought, but was not easy to prepare. Imagine the following: You are to prepare a presentation. The subject is the geology of a certain area, and your information is to be gleaned from as many different sources as possible. The presentation is to be 15 minutes long, and (here's the kicker)... you are presenting to the two men who have contributed the most of anyone in the world to the literature you have been researching.

How do you present to an audience like that?!! The figures I used had been drawn by them... the data I used had either been written or reviewed by them... frankly I felt a little silly and totally intimidated. I guess the problem stemmed from my impression that the person doing a presentation generally knows a little bit more about it than at least some part of his/her audience. The discussion following my weak little spiel was long and actually extremely interesting... as they pointed out mistakes I'd made, but primarily lectured me on the detailed stuff I'd missed. In my defence you get no impression, from reading papers, of the behind-the-scenes scientific debates between authors, the different schools of thought, or the problems people don't know how to address (because if they don't understand something, they won't write about it because they don't like admitting that they don't understand). So my profs enlightened me. I got no impression of their impression of my talk. Actually I know my talk wasn't great; I put most of the effort into the paper, which they had at this point only had time to skim (seeing as I only gave it to them this morning).

Anyway I suggest you try lecturing the experts on something you don't fully understand sometime. It's a highly embarrassing faux-pas to discover you're doing so, accidentally, in a social context... its even more fun to deliberately do so in an academic context, for marks.

If there's even one person there who doesn't know the stuff it's okay... because you can be hugely general and "dumbed down" for them, giving large amounts of general background information to run down the clock in the guise of "scientific accessibility". And you can get away with giving no specifics because surely the experts present understand you're just trying to help the rest to understand the subject. At least you can fool yourself into thinking so.

Executive summary: It wasn't easy, or particularly fun. But I do feel confident that the paper is good, at least in terms of grammar and spelling and my use of good terms that make it sound like I know the score.

The score: Mica Creek 1, Grum 0. Now awaiting the results of round 2: reviews of my paper.
The final round is the mark for the course... and whether I feel it's decent.

Since Ed's away for the next 2 weeks I won't see the results of round 2 until then.

Okay bye for now... I'll soon post one of my nice sunset photos from my office window from the evening of the all-nighter on Wednesday night.

scam of sorts

Hey yo

For some odd reason the internet (or just Blogger) is really slow right now. It's likely the university; this system isn't the most tyre-smokin fast that there ever was. Anyway this means I can't post a funny photo for today. The "upload photos" box won't open.

Regardless, on to the topic of this post... a subtle scam at Bestbuy. There's a promotion on right now, that's been on for a couple of weeks and has another week to go, where they give you a free HP colour printer ($130 value) when you buy a digital camera. I wasn't aware of this deal when I bought my camera yesterday afternoon, however they kindly pointed it out to me. Obviously I was delighted; the only extra expense was the $8.50 Alberta tax on printer cartridges, but I think you get that back if you dispose of them properly. Oh, and of course, printer companies don't provide any connector cables with printers anymore (lazy bastards). Only the power cords. So you have to buy one, and at Bestbuy they only had one type for USB... a normal USB 2.0 compatible cable with GOLD PLATED connectors. It cost $35 plus tax. I know... $43.50 for a $130 printer still isn't a bad deal, but it's still annoying when you weren't planning on getting one in the first place. So I didn't get the connector. Instead I swung by the dollar store today and got one for $2.00.

Okay this story sounds lame and whiny now. In my mind it was way better.

But really... who has ever lost data during a UNB transfer? I never have ("transfer reliability" was their reason for the gold plating). And I've certainly never felt that the superior conductivity of gold plating will help to make my data transfers more reliable. After all it's only a plating... the rest of the conductive material is still the stainless steel and copper and whatever else they use. And the cable is not the limiting factor in the speed of a USB data transfer. It's typically the speed of the device you're connecting to your computer (printer, camera, ipod, etc) that dictates the overall transfer speed.

Okay enough complaining. But if anyone can provide a convincing explanation why we need gold plated USB cables please do so.

Now time to research and write a paper that "may be too thick to fit in the mailbox" of my emeritus supervisor. Oh yeah... and it has to be written by Thursday, so I can present and defend on Friday. Oh and I also have to find two reviewers in addition to my two supervisors.

Fun times begin right now.

Cheers, mates!

Grum general update

Some while ago I posted an image of a clipping, also from a police plotter, stating that there was a report of a "swanson chicken pot pie running east on Clay street". I suspect the chicken escaped from the pie and is now "at large". We'll keep you informed as this breaking story continues to break.

On a sidenote, recently I've noticed several incidents of people misusing "break" and "brake". Get it straight: to decelerate a vehicle is to brake (v). The device in a vehicle that decelerates it and/or keeps it stopped is called the brake (n). A brake (n) is also a device for crushing flax or hemp to separate the fibres. It's also a name for a type of harrow in farming. Any other time you want to use a word that sounds the same, use "break". I am a little obsessive about grammar and spelling. Feel free to mock any errors I make. Especially with witty reinterpretations of my intended meaning, with a total disregard for the principle of communicative charity. Joe.

Anway news from grum... I'm loading up on technology for the field; a new digital camera with fantastic closeup focussing for rock photos (it came with a free $130 printer through a bestbuy promotion I didn't even know about until I was paying for the camera), a (refurbished) ipaq for ebooks and papers in acrobat form, an extra battery for the lappy, soon an extra camera battery, memory chips (ipaq and camera), and of course the power systems for the field. Ed thinks just the motomaster battery on a full charge should be able to charge everything over a two week camp... but when you calculate the number of watt-hours needed and the number a battery will provide, we do need a bit of supplementary power. Items that need charging (decreasing order of importance): 2-way Radio, camera (two if my field assistant also has the built in rechargeable battery), GPS, satphone (don't know if we'll have one yet), laptop, ipaq, ipod (two if field asst also has one), and various rechargeable AAA and AA batteries for other appliances eg shortwave radio (but I could just get disposable ones and not worry about that drain on electricity). My flashlight is hand-charged. If only I could get more person-powered chargers (eg exercise bike)... my field assistant would really earn his keep that way. When we're with the truck it'll be no problem, we just have to make sure we don't drain the truck battery charging everything...

My bike is in terrific condition - better than new. I got high quality parts for the entire transmission instead of the quick-to-wear rubbish that came with the bike. The reason the bike is fairly cheap to buy is that Trek spent most of the money on the awesome frame (it's the same one used on their top-of-the-line bikes) and skimped on the rest. Anyway the bike feels fantastic now... shifting is quick and smooth, and it generally oozes long-term reliability.